Hi everyone! (: Sorry for being missing in action, been too swarmed with work and when I'm home, all I want to do is to just lie on my bed and just laze around.
But anyway, I've recently been asked to do a guest post for Love Out Loud Asia also known as LOLA! So when they first approached me, I was rather intrigued and curious as to what they do exactly.
It's actually pretty cool?! Hehe. Essentially, they are like an online dating platform (an app) where singles can post date ideas up and be able to connect with like-minded individuals. They emphasize a lot of privacy, and they also manually approve of each profile to ensure that each profile is by a genuine user! Hence, there's no worry about any leak of private or confidential information (or meeting creeps/weirdos hahaha). And they have had over 1000 singles who have alrd been paired through their app! (:
I'm certainly not an expert on dating or on affairs of the heart, but I've had my fair share of dates (before Tzu) and from all the movies/sitcoms that I watch, and yes, so I've been asked to pick a topic for my post and I picked:
How to be bad at dating?
(Please don't do these things I'm listing down!)
1. Dressing inappropriately
It's about dressing right for the occasion. Guys, ditch the berms for some pants and a nice shirt; and girls, throw on one of your pretty dresses if the date's gonna be at a restaurant or some place nice. Likewise, don't overdress if it's gonna be a casual date like a rollerskating session at the park or a picnic.
2. Excessive use of the phone
Ah, social media and being connected all the time makes it hard to have a good date of just pure one-on-one conversation. It makes your date feel like he/she is not as entertaining or interesting as whats in your electronic device, and it can come off as being rude. Checking and replying your whatsapp messages and all are fine but make sure your date doesn't feel ignored!
3. Being Late
It's not nice to have your date waiting around for you to arrive, in fact, some people may get rather annoyed by unpunctuality. Make sure that you're on time to meet him/her; it'll definitely serve as a good impression! Or...you could just inform the other person that you'll be late and if it's okay to meet a little later or something, just don't wait till he/she's already there and you're still like 30 minutes away).
4. Talking about ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends
It makes your date feel like he/she is being compared with your ex. Just leave the exes out of conversations. It'll probably make he/she feel uncomfortable to comment on what you're talking about. Conversations about the past would probably be best after you two have gotten to know each other well enough to be sharing about such details I feel! Even in a mature relationship, talking about exes just isn't good as well cause there just shouldn't be anything from the past that you should be holding on to if you're looking to spend the rest of your life with your current partner (:
5. Spotlight on you. YOU!
"I'm the president of this club...blah...blah... I like to do this and that during my free time. I..,I..,I." Imagine your poor date trying to get involved in this one-sided conversation. It's great that you're sharing so much about yourself so that the other party would have a chance to get to know you better. But do remember to shift the focus and attention to him/her as well so that it'll be a two-way conversation! (:
6. Being closed-up
This is the exact opposite of point 5 (above). Imagine your date just struggling there to keep the conversation going, which would eventually lead to awkward silences ): Don't be afraid to share your thoughts or comment/give input when your date is talking about something. Don't close yourself up even before getting to know the other person (for first dates!). Even for couples who've been together for a while, do remember to have a fair share of both listening and sharing in order to build a healthy and balanced relationship! (:
7. Guys: being ungentlemanly; Girls: being unappreciative
Okay, I know we live in a gender equality era right now, but it definitely feels good on the receiving end (as a girl) when the guy behaves like a gentleman. Simple things like opening the door for the lady, or even offering your jacket to her when it gets chilly are all really sweet gestures! (: But yes of course, I feel that at times, some ladies may take these gestures for granted and sort of expect it to be done which makes the guy feel unappreciated.
Oh yes, and let's take a look at the idea of the guy who's always expected to be the one paying for the meal. I feel that the guy is not always obliged to pay actually, but it's definitely a plus point if he does of course! The girl should always offer to pay or as my favourite TV series How I Met Your Mother names it as "doing the cheque dance". Guys like to be waved off, to feel good that they are paying for the meal. So girls, don't take these things for granted and expect that everything should be done by all guys!
So these are my pointers! (: Hopefully they are useful and you can be like:
Remember to always be comfortable in your own skin and just enjoy the date! Happy dating everybody ♡
